Why Working Five Days a Week is a Good Idea for Telecommuters

There is a lot of talk these days about four day work weeks, mostly as a way to help your employees conserve gas. And apparently, if you give everyone Friday off, you, the employer, probably save money on cooling/lighting/all that other stuff that goes on in your Real Office. (Although I think that's kind of dumb from a customer service viewpoint, you didn't ask me.)

I think if you're a full-time telecommuter, however, you should work five days a week. The most important reason to do this is because everyone back in the Real Office already thinks you're a total slacker who works a lot less hard than everyone else.

I know. You're not a total slacker. You get more done every day than the Real Office folks do in a day and a half. I'm not asking what you do, I'm telling you what they think. And they think you're not working that hard.

Another reason to work five days is to take advantage of the extra productivity. You are probably working from home in part because a lot of your work can be done without a huge amount of in-person interaction. Why wouldn't you kick out the jams as much as possible, even if other people are goofing off?

And one more thing: there are lots of advantages you have that your Real Office compatriots can't take advantage of. You know what they are: the ability to fold laundry whilst attending dull meetings on the periphery of your responsibilities, the luxury of a warm cat on your lap, the joy of not looking at cubicle walls all day. It is only reasonable that there might be some Real Office benefits that you cannot partake of: bad coffee, cubicle walls, and yes, four day work weeks.

Listen, I'm not trying to be a jerk about this. (I don't have to try - I'm an expert jerk. Ha ha.) But for those of us who are both shut-ins and full-time, real employees, the appearance of being extra-exemplary is important. You have to ask yourself this important question: do you really need a four-day work week? The answer is probably not. You're already saving as much gas as is humanly possible -- what more do you want, people?

Let your Real Office colleagues have some fun.