Oh, Man

It's funny because it's true. Help me.

Telecommuter Fashion Forward: Flip Flops

Summer is officially here at StellaCommute headquarters. While we fired up the office air conditioner a couple of weeks ago, it's really kicking into gear now. With that in mind, it's time for our irregular feature on telecommuter "fashion" -- note those are not unnecessary quotation marks, because we're talking about flip flops here, people.

 What Did You Say You Bill Hourly?

For the truly discerning shut-in, these lovely numbers from Roberto Cavalli are ON SALE at Zappos for more than a grand. I kid you not. These are perfect for the telecommuter who doesn't actually need to work for money. Or who bill out at, like, $500 an hour. And really, I'm not sure what you can do at home for $500 an hour, but I'm pretty sure it involves different shoe styles than these.

My Legs are Cold, But My Toes Are Warm

These are the perfect choice for the telecommuter who suffers from chilly calves on those jaunts to the refrigerator. Or maybe you're too lazy to shave your legs every day -- wear these and keep your hirsutism to yourself. Elegant brocade plus white leather mean you can only wear these between Memorial Day and Whitsunday, though, so govern yourself accordingly.

Fringe Benefits

Buckle up, it's going to be a ticklish ride. These shoes will make you feel like you have small flies landing on the top of your feet all day. You'll get a nice workout from twitching and shaking your feet to get them off GET THEM OFF NOW AIIIIIIIEEEEE!

The Enterprise Edition

Something about these just makes me think "Trekkie" and I'm not sure why. The angular cut of the straps, the groovy 70s refrigerator/stove/wall oven color scheme, it's hard to put my finger on it exactly. Hey, they look comfortable.

Okay, at this point I just want to note that none of these shoes is less than $100. For flip flops. Am I so hopelessly out of touch with what shoes should or could cost or is that unreal? Okay, hopelessly out of touch it is! Let's continue...

Not Safe For Work (If Your Job Is Cowboy) 

Don't be fooled by the top people, these will not protect you if a horse steps on your foot whilst you try to saddle him or her. They are very sparkly, though. But bedazzling is, generally speaking, not a safety feature.

Back To Basics

All right, enough of this silliness. These are your basic flip flops, like the ones you had as a kid. They're less than twenty dollars, the straps look like they won't wear you raw, and they're perfect for staggering around your yard looking at flowers while you listen to a conference call.

So there you have it, a nice selection of extremely casual footwear. Please feel free to go to Zappos, where I found these fantastic shoe pictures, and purchase yourself a new pair of flip flops for the summer. After all, as a shut in, you don't spend nearly the money you might otherwise on clothes shoes and stuff. And please, don't call them thongs. That's something else entirely.

I'm on a roll, but you can pick what you want from this listing

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Guess What? *

I work on an online thing that has security, and it includes a feature where our users store answers to questions like: What street did you grow up on? or What was your first school?

That's kind of lame.

Because frankly, anyone who knows a person fairly well (or even one who is relatively casually acquainted with a person on Facebook) could probably figure out the answer to those questions. That's why the free form question where you provide the question and the answer are so great. And these questions and answers? Epic win.

*Chicken butt.

Not Quite, At Least Not for Me

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Admitting You Have A Problem

Okay, sure it's easy to mock the pen fetishists. Just because you're bitter that you have never known the love of a truly amazing pen, don't take it out on those of us who have been lucky enough to find our soulmate in fountain, gel, or Sharpie form.

But seriously, folks, the right pen can inspire me to greater paroxysms of entity-relationship diagramming genius. It's all in here, waiting to get out into the right notebook through the right pen.

Perhaps I do have a problem.

Just When You Think Your Dedication to Outmoded Technology Is Out of Control

You see someone who has it much much worse. Now, don't get me wrong, I like new stuff as much as the next American who does his or her best to prop up the economy through shopping. But Stella Commute does much of her non-tech shopping at thrift stores, and Mr. Commute buys the technology as old as he can. Witness our hi-fi stereo rig, pictured here. Yes, that's an LP record, kids, Steely Dan "Can't Buy a Thrill" on vinyl. And an 8-track tape recorder. So we can burn our vinyl to 8-track.

We're dorks. Yes. But we're not this bad.

Telecommuting Commute Time Reducer Number Two

As a follow up to the efficiency pants and the in-bed laptop stand that Stella recently covered, I am pleased that Gizmodo called my attention to this time saver: the keyboard pillow. They imply that one will be napping on the job with this, but I see it as a way to move seamlessly from sleep to productivity in the morning.

But then again, Stella gets up really early so she can be at work on the same schedule as her east coast colleagues, so perhaps my interpretation is off.

Nap on, dear readers. Nap on.

Snow Makes for Exciting Driving

But not as exciting as zombies. Whoever did this in Austin: You Are A Genius.

Meanwhile, Stella just had to drive around her second city in a 7-10" snowstorm which, on my home turf, would shut the city down. Here? Not so much.

If they shut down Rochester everytime it snowed, no one would get anything done. So you just brush off your car and go slow. It's actually not that big a deal.

Zombies would be much worse. Really.

As an Office Supply Fetishist

I have determined that I must get this notebook:

Because I need a more comfortable notebook. I really do.

This Is Exactly The Conversation I Have at Office Parties

Precisely. But without the bustle. Thank you, Wondermark, for capturing my life so eloquently. In my case, my colleagues spend much of the day asleep at their workstations. It is quite frustrating because I'm working hard all day and it gets hard to hear myself think over their gentle snores.

Holy Mother of God

I like the parody song as much as the next person who used to have to attend senior staff retreats but wow, this just takes my breath away. And doesn't make me want to upgrade to Vista. Or spend time with any sales person who may want to convince me to upgrade.

Thanks to the nice folks at Big Marketing for Small Business for turning me on to this gem!

It All Depends on Your Point of View

Conference Call Going Awesome

Employees On Other End Of Conference Call Just Want It To Be Over

Sometimes it's hard to know which is the case. Maybe videoconferencing is a better idea?

The Best News I've Heard All Week

Yes, we all know that coffee shops are the workplace of the future for the shut-in who doesn't like to be completely shut-in. But now we can see that Congress is getting on board with the free wi-fi. Thank you, The Onion, for turning us onto the latest trends, once again.

Senate Meets At Coffee Shop To Brainstorm Legislation

We all get inspired when we move to a new location. "Many senators claimed that Café Karma's collection of experimental water colors, alternative music, and eclectic light fixtures was in stark contrast to the staid and regal backdrop of the senate chamber where they normally meet. Moreover, a number said they found the youthful staff and clientele inspiring."

Indeed.

When a Daddy and Mommy Love Each Other Very Much

This image set from Gizmodo shows you one of the funniest pieces of marketing I have ever seen. Particularly when you limit your consideration of marketing just to that which deals with home networking and server acquisition. Oh, how I wish that everything that I do could be infused with so much snark and style. But alas, I must straighten up and fly right.

Mad props to Gavin for turning me on to this!

Now Clinically Proven: Shoes Are Bad

Well, high heels, at least. I've written before about how big the adjustment from slippers to shoes is, and BoingBoing has called our attention to a nice infographic from Sociological Images showing the effects of high heel-wearing on the foot and leg.

To be honest, I haven't noticed the specific effects mentioned more or less with high heels v. low heels. I mostly just notice my feet hurt when I wear any shoes for long periods of time. I'm sure that if I were a high heel devotee, or ran marathons in them or whatever, I might notice.

A quick tip for the heel wearers out there: a square heel is easier to deal with than a stiletto (although a bit less fabulous looking, I'm afraid).